Farewell

I’m a scribbler. I scribble a lot.


Over these past few weeks, I have especially been writing a lot with a whole mumbo-jumbo of mixed emotions. Weell, not to the point where I bravely post it in here… Mostly it just end up in my Draft Folder, like every other writing that I wrote, maybe because it’s too downright honest.

But after a lot of consideration, here’s a thought that’s worth to share with you all;


Of the hundreds of relationships you participate in throughout the course of your roller coaster life — associations of all kind: good/bad, joyful/sad, casual/serious, friendly/hostile, short/long, romantic/heartbreaking and everything in between, there will always be this one relationship that harrows you like an old wound that refuses to heal. It haunts your mind, frequents your thoughts, making it hard for you to just, breathe.

Not that like it’s impossible to heal, but maybe a part of you, unconsciously, is letting the hurt to ail you. Or maybe it’s because of the fact that you find yourself reluctant to fight a losing battle when your emotions are swinging back and forth like those dusty old broken saloon doors on rusty hinges.

You restlessly live, breathe, dream, and repeat— but such malady of discontent and heartbreak just won’t go away! Causing your heart and emotions to play a constant game of tug of war, each pulling one end of your instincts.

Wrestling with your emotions over the dream of someone who still claims so much of your sentiment but it just falls flat on the reality that the person, is no longer there… well isn’t that lovely.

Trying to make it all feel better, you try to settle down and think.

But you realize that you can't. So you choose to distract yourself… And it works wonders.

I spent a lot of nights tossing over it and it seems all roads lead to one conclusion. Ultimately, my prayer is that Jesus continue His ever-present work in my heart, change me from the inside out, unearth and kill off those roots of sin, doubt and immorality so that I may better reflect Christ, so that I may better serve Him, so that I may better understand and live the life of love He’s called me to live.

The more you mull over it, think about, and go over the scene in your mind, the more it has the opportunity to take root within your soul and plant deep seeds of bitterness.

Though I’m still learning, I’m trying hard to forgive, and the only thing that will ruin that, is if I keep on thinking about it. So better not, don’t you think? :)


My only job in this case is just to love them as Christ loves me, and to demonstrate His noble love no matter how they act in return. But how often do I worry about living a pure life of love if/when I’m not living the way God has commanded me as a follower of Christ? By all means, I am guilty.

I just want to have that hunger to experience the fullness of all God has for me on this earth, I wan’t to be caught up in the most epic adventure of a Christ-centered life, I want to be so a live and ebullient in God that I’m unshakable to the point that no allure of the world can pull myself into apathy or impassivity, most of all, I want to demonstrate God’s love towards people and that my personality and character to be His means of expression.

And thus, I believe that even when you’re going through trials or hardships in life, they can even remind you that all that are actually exciting God-given opportunities to gain greater victory, patience, faith, strength, and dependence upon Him.

So goodbye now to the breakdown between thought, emotion and behavior. Farewell to faulty perception and inapt actions and feelings. Goodbye to withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion. Good riddance to an overwhelming sense of mental fragmentation.

This is not like my usual post but it has to be said and i’m so excited about life.

To Him be glory, greatness and power.

“I ask you that we all love each other. And love means living the way God commanded us to live. As you have heard form the beginning, God’s command is this: Live a life of love.”

2 John 5-6.