Sabtu, 11 April 2015

Adieu

Banyak banget belakangan ini kejadian-kejadian yang bikin gue berpikir keras. Semakin hari semakin sadar, bahwa apa yang ada di depan mata gue sekarang gak selamanya akan selalu ada. Gak ada jaminan bahwa orang-orang  yang ada di sekeliling gue akan selalu ada.

Rasanya baru kemarin, gue ngerasain yang namanya Ujian Nasional di SMP, sibuk daftar SMA, sibuk ikut MOS, dan gak kerasa dalam 2 hari lagi gue bakal menghadapi Ujian Nasional terakhir di SMA.

Gue itu observer. Tiap lagi duduk di dalam kelas, atau lagi duduk di koridor sekolah, gue suka ngamatin mereka; orang-orang itu yang udah hampir 3 tahun ini berseliweran di depan retina mata gue. Mereka yang dalam beberapa bulan, bahkan beberapa minggu lagi gak bakal gue lihat. Mereka yang sebentar lagi bakal sibuk dengan dunia perkuliahan masing-masing.

Kata orang masa SMA itu masa yang paling indah, and I guess that’s true.
Mengutip dari film Alexandria; “Kamu tahu apa yang paling mahal di dunia ini? Detik yang baru aja lewat. Karna kita gak akan bisa ngebeli itu lagi.” Kalimat itu bener-bener ngena, dan sekarang ini, bener-bener menohok sampe ke ulu hati kalo gue mikirin saat-saat perpisahan.

Sebentar lagi masa SMA gue akan berakhir, bentar lagi gak akan gue lihat orang-orang berseragam putih abu-abu mondar-mandir di koridor sekolah. Bentar lagi kita semua akan pisah. Beberapa dari temen-temen gue akan ada yang sekolah disini, disitu, di kota ini, di kota itu, bahkan di negara lain. Mereka semua akan tersebar, berusaha untuk meraih impian mereka masing-masing.

Begitupun dengan gue, kemungkinan gue kuliah di luar kota itu, pasti ada. Mungkin, rezeki gue gak di Jakarta. Siapa tau gue rezekinya di sana, entah dimana tempat yang udah Tuhan rencanakan untuk gue. Kemungkinan untuk LDR dengan orang tua juga pasti ada, mereka yang selama 17 tahun ini selalu ada di sisi gue yang udah membesarkan gue sampe sejauh ini. Dan dengan waktu yang ada, gue berusaha untuk bisa menghabiskan waktu sama orang tua gue, nikmatin quality time yang ada.

The hardest part in life is saying goodbye, ketika lo udah nyaman sama sekeliling lo dan lo sadar bahwa your time is up.

One day, we’ll stare at the school gate for the last time, throw our books away, and kiss our uniforms goodbye, say goodbye to those people who have watched us grow and have grown together with us and give the tightest hug to them.

Tapi satu hal yang bikin gue senyum ketika mikirin tentang perpisahan ini, yaitu karena gue tau bahwa setelah ini gue dan temen-temen gue akan menata masa depan, kita semua akan menggapai mimpi kita, and the thought of it is exciting. Yang ada di depan kita, yang ada di luar sana, yang bakal kita hadapin emang gak akan selalu mudah tapi gue percaya ketika waktu memberikan kesempatan buat kita , kita akan bertemu dengan senyum lebar dan dengan bangga bilang “we made it!”.

And in our remaining time, sahabat, maukah kau mengukir hari-hari indah yang suatu hari nanti, ketika kita sudah bisa menopang hidup dengan keringat kita sendiri, akan kita kenang dengan senyum merekah dan rasa rindu yang mendalam?


Sukses terus untuk Samagata Akusara! 
Karena kita datang bersama untuk menggapai sukses bersama.



Sabtu, 28 Februari 2015

Mr. Fiction

When I was 4 I asked my mom to buy me a princess gown for my birthday, at that time I felt like a princess in the movie, with the tiara on top of my head, beautiful gown, and clacking-heels. I read and watched a lot of princesses stories. To put on a list; Cinderella, Beauty and The Beast, Little Mermaid, Alladin, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, etcetera. You know the end of their stories, their happily ever after with their princes.

Cinderella, unfortunate girl, who doesn’t have anyone but herself to rely on. She wears ugly clothes, she lives with her cruel stepmother and stepsisters. She sounded like a sad story, told twice over. But then one night, everything changes. I wonder, why would the prince go after her? How come he falls for her? He doesn’t even know her traits whatsoever. But then again, Cindy is pretty. When I was a kid I wanted to have pretty hair, pretty face, pretty skin. I wanted to be physically pretty, so I could find my prince charming.

When I’ve come of age, I read a lot of literature novels, mostly romance. I have a long list of the literature heroes, villains, and the tritagonists. Unlike those childhood stories, literature novels have become more complex, and I love the complexity of it. A good story leads me to a good ending. I didn’t like reading books with sad endings, because it just not right. A good book always has a happy ending, I thought. I wanted to be Elizabeth so I could end up with my very own Darcy. I didn’t want to be Catherine who went off with the wrong prince charming. I wanted to go for a prince charming, not the villain, the bad guy. I wanted my very own mister fiction as what romance movies and books would describe.

I am a hopeless romantic, my heart flutters whenever I read or watch romantic scenes. Warm spreads through my body. The girl in the book, or movie usually described as the pretty one. I once watched Ugly Betty and it felt off when he ended up with her charming boss, an ugly girl does not belong with a prince charming, I thought. But as i grew up I started seeing thigs in different way. I realized that, you can’t demand anything to be perfect, you can’t always be pretty. And I am not physically pretty. For once i felt like the ugly betty waiting for her charming boss to sweep her off her feet.

I have a friend, she liked a guy, a prince charming kind of guy. She made a move but you know, turned out a prince charming so called guy was a douche. She came to me and cried. She told me that he said, to quote what he said; “you’re a nice girl, but look at me and look at you.” That was just so cruel, he basically told her that she wasn’t pretty. Ugh what an absolute jerk. But after a couple of months, I found out that my friend found someone, someone that I’d classify as the villain of the story. Why? Because this guy used to picked up on my friend, but then he turned out to be the hero of the story. He made my friend happy.

I have this theory, that sometimes weare blinded with a pretty face, dresses, clacking-heels, and a tiara. That makes us think; without them we would never meet our prince charming. But you know what? Sometimes the prince charming is just too busy of being charming which turns out to be cocky and obnoxious.

I met someone, we disagree to a lot of things. One time, he said that life is unfair, but I said that life is fair because it’s unfair to everyone. And for the first time he agreed with me. As we talked and talked, we have gotten to know more about each other, and guess what? Shockingly, we actually have a lot in common. I like radiohead, he does too. I like movies, he does too. I like books, and he does too. He was a villain of the story, but the villain turned out to be quite charming, that he swept me off my feet. Your biggest enemy sometimes can be your best friend. Well, me and him didn’t last long but at least I’ve known what it felt like to have my Mr. Fiction. The new version of my Mr. Fiction.

I’m not insecure, I am quite confident. I may not be the prettiest girl in town, I can’t make a guy falls for me with my physical appearance. But I’m sure I can make a guy fall for me with my mind. I don’t want to be the ugly betty, but I don’t want to be a princess anymore too. The Prince in Cinderella’s story never really know what’s in Cindy’s mind. All he knows is that Cindy has a pretty face. And I don’t want that kind of story.

I’m just gonna live my life to the fullest, maybe if I’m lucky I’ll find my Mr. Fiction, half villain and half hero, as long as he knows what I’m capable to do with my mind then just be it. Because this is a real life, there’s no such thing as the perfect prince charming. No more Elizabeth and Darcy. It'll just be Clara and Her (real life) Mr. Fiction.

Sooooo, fingers crossed everyone! :)